Chapter Four

Charles Bukowski:
"Understand me. I'm not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension, and I do not have time for things that have no soul."

From my newest sister, Alison Nappi:
"Humility, in the esoteric sense, is a rare trait. A lot goes into the making of a healer, a seer, a wild god-man, a shaman, a lover of land. A lot goes into the making of the wild one; to claim the holy sound of the song that rattles old bones awake inside the stories of numbness and sorrow we all carry.

People such as yourself don't get made by having an easy life, an easy road. If you do what everyone does, you cannot come in contact with what I call, your divine uniqueness. I too, have been deepened radically by sorrow, by fear, by far-reaching sight.

I truly believe there is a design. And I believe this design is more intelligent than I am, so I play hide-and-seek with it all day. Maybe it's geometrical. Maybe my soul is a photon. Sometimes I think of my existence as a mathematical algorithm, eternally unfolding, showing creation itself new principles of its own existence.

I'm here in la Veta Colorado
I am voice texting. 
today is my first social engagement. I'm going to the library to listen to a talk about moving to rural Colorado. This is an entirely new experience. I am I am absol so many people on the move. I drove the southern route from Virginia Beach all the way through, Florida Alabama Mississippi Louisiana Texas. People with horse trailers packed full of their belongings, cars with huge bundles on top, along the whole route Devastation and poverty everywhere. Whole entire town boarded up. This is my America.

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